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  • 3 days ago | Columns

    You were the heavy-set older guy in the navy cap who always used to walk your lion-sized canine around the block and would give my puppy free treats, so he'd squeal as soon as he saw you coming. For an elderly guy, you seemed full of lifeā€”and wisd...

  • 10 days ago | Hey, You!

    You were the old guy sitting next to my Latino family at El Torito, presumably with your wife, on Father's Day. We were trying our best to celebrate our dad despite having to hear you loudly discuss points on why Obamacare sucks, why we need to ke...

  • 18 days ago | Columns

    You are the young woman who walked into our dentist's office and sat down on the couch opposite me to wait for your appointment. I am the older man who was sitting in a big chair, checking messages on my phone while I also waited. Please let me ex...

  • 25 days ago | Hey, You!

    You are the flight attendant who did not follow your own advice to slowly open the overhead bins because items inside get jostled during flights. How do I know? Because I got conked when you quickly opened an overhead door, as a hard metal case fe...

  • 1 month ago | Hey, You!

    You are the little tweaker slut who took advantage of your aunt's ex-husband when he allegedly gave you permission to stay in his house. The cock-and-bull story you gave him about your renewed commitment to college was just to warm the former prof...

  • 1 month ago | Columns

    To the people sitting behind me on a recent flight out of John Wayne Airport: What was so funny about the pilot's accent? During his welcome, you snickered as if he's dumb because of his pronunciation of certain words. But everyone understood him,...


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